Alexander L. Dalgardno

     My name is Alexander Leland Dalgardno. I was born Aleksandr Aleksandrovich Lyuhmanov  in Kazan, Russia to an alcoholic mother and a mobster father who died before I could meet him--or so the story was relayed to me. I have witnessed many things as a child; violence, sex, alcoholism, and brokenness make a child grow up fast. At the age of six, I was placed into an orphanage and then lugged around a few more over the next couple years.

     The Russian orphanages groomed me up to become morally bankrupt with much to prove. From a young age, I was taught to despise authority. From a young age, I was taught to become a gangster. In the Russian orphanage, it was the only way of life. Violence, crime, and everything antisocial was mandatory.

Luckily, at my worst time, on the brink of my becoming something bad permanently, God pulled me out. Some loving American people adopted me and gave me a family, a home, a life, a belonging. It was difficult to accept their love. I always questioned it. I always pushed against it. It took me 10 years of rebelling, 6 years of prison, a nasty reputation, and God cornering in a segregation cell in order for me to realize just how good they are to me, how good God is to me.

     In 2006, I went to jail for being sexual with my sisters. The weight of my bad decisions did not register until way later. And since it was something that I was taught at a young age, it was something that I naturally did without thinking when my 14 year old hormones hit. I tried everything under the sun to prove to people that I was unlovable. I had succeeded, and it drove me into further darkness.

     At seventeen, after releasing from the juvenile prison, and registering as SO, I left my parents’ home to live a life that I wanted to live. Over the next few years, I partied, chased girls, smoked pot, and couch surfed. I guess, I was pretty much the normal in-between high school and college type, but I believe it drove me deeper into the life of crime and darkness. As I met girls who didn’t respect themselves, drug heads that did anything for the next hit, and many other young and reckless individuals, I got pulled further into Godlessness, and eventually crime. Sin, when fully grown, leads to death.

     In 2009, I finally snapped out of the party phase and started going to a local community college, and even getting a job as a busboy at an Italian restaurant. I started meeting my dad for coffee every once in a while to keep him updated on my progress and life. Everything was starting to turn around, until one day, my roommate got drunk and professed his love for me. He started getting pissed off that I was straight and “off with some blonde bitch”, so I moved out. I had lots of gay friends and associates, but him being pushy on me was the breaking point in our friendship.

     After moving out, I went back to couch surfing and that made me stop putting forth all of my effort into school and work. Soon I found myself homeless and broke. Conveniently, I ran into a Russian acquaintance that offered me an opportunity to make a few bucks for getting him a hotel room in my name. That’s how I got into the game of prostitution.

     A few months later, I was arrested. I went through many mental phases. I got depressed and suicidal. I begged God to let me out (so that I could go back to doing what I was doing). And then finally, I became bitter and dwelled on revenge and becoming more of a monster.

     I spent the first few years picking everyone’s brain on how to become a better criminal. I read many book and picked up any knowledge on crime. Until one day, I climbed the fence (to get some food and coffee, of all things) and was placed into segregation with the threat of an escape charge.

     There, I met Jesus. In the midst of a freezing cold, I felt His warmth. At my place between a rock and hard place, He offered me comfort and peace. Every cell in my body heard Him when He said, “Alex, why are you running from me?”

From that point, I could not run anymore. In that moment, I decided to dedicate my life to Him and His service. Keep trying when I fail. Keep trying when it’s hard. Over the last 3 years of my prison sentence, I not only grew closer to God, but bloomed in every aspect of my life. I earned my Associate of Arts degree, a Graphic Design Certificate, learned Basic Bookkeeping, worked as a Teacher’s Aide teaching GED to adults (top class graduations), played music and lead worship in many services, helped people with their recovery, started a publication called “Jesus in the Can”, composed an album, wrote notebooks of stuff…with God I have finally reached my potential.

     On July 13, 2015 I was released. Expecting a difficult time, I leaned on my God. He provided EVERYTHING. I believe that He has called me to do a work for Him. As long as I am worried about doing what He wants, He takes care of my “insignificant” stuff.

     I dread being judged for my past. I hate being open. I hate being vulnerable. But I am an honest man now. I am no longer afraid to keep my past a secret because it’s not my identity anymore. I have risen out of those ditches and although I have that stench, I will not only rise, but offer some inspiration to the people that are down.